Summer Update

Gage playing in the mud!

Ohhh Summer... Oh hot and dry Summer!  We have been a lot busier than I had anticipated this Summer of 2012.  Actually we haven't but maybe it feels that way because in reality, we are busy staying out of the heat.  Bo and Cote are STILL heat and sun sensitive and Gage, who even thrived in the Missouri heat, is even struggling a bit this year.  So between the Summer events, we have basically been hiding out recouping from this last year and gearing up for the upcoming one.  Lot's of sprinkler time, pool time and playtime! 


 Gage and I have been working very hard on getting him caught up with Learning Readiness stuff so we can start homeschooling this Fall.  Each day that we sit down to review more, it is confirmed that homeschooling is the best route for us.  Gage has had the Summer off from therapies and we will have to set up a new evaluation soon to see if he should be continuing on.  He has had a lot of struggles this Summer with all of the commotion at our farm, but it is something we are working on as a family unit.  I can now cut his hair without him vomiting or screaming.  He will now touch mud.  He has incredible patience for his siblings and is now their biggest defender!  I am so proud of this child.  It is starting to finally sink in for him that his brother and sister are Special Needs and he has had not one single negative thing to say about it.  When I very gingerly brought up the conversation a few weeks ago, Gage listened attentively and made the simple statement, "They are perfect the way they are, Mom!"  My soul soared at that moment.

Bo, over tired and over heated, at the Fair!

Bo and Cote have had therapies and teacher visits at our farm throughout these last two months.  It has been awesome for me and a colossal help!  Bo is officially all over everything!!!  He can climb furniture, and he can climb it super fast!  I am talking the couch, the rocker, the end tables AND he can climb into the toy box!!!  He figured out how to wiggle his hand under the baby gate to take it down, grab ahold of the toy box to stand up and then turn the door knob or kick open the door to the bathroom!!!  He has figured out that if he stands on the couch or end table, he can mess with my wall arrangements!  He is figuring out how to throw little hissy's and can shake his head "no" when he doesn't want something... which is usually food, lol.  Also, he has been playing nice with Cote as well as climbing onto the couch to cuddle Gage.

Cote checking out the County Fair.

Cote is army-crawling with a little bit of speed finally.  She can very quickly get from sitting to laying and vice versa.  We have figured out that she hates animals... even kittens, lol.  She hates dolls.  She hates Barbies.  She loves loves loves trucks and cars!!!!!  She loves V-Tech toys!  She is giving kisses now and the BEST hugs!  She is smiling at people now (including me)!


ALL of my children are huge!!!!  Gage is currently comfortably in an 8, and Bo and Cote are in a 5T/childrens 4/5 and going into 6/7.


Keith is now on 3rd shift, which is great great great for the kids, but I miss snuggling with him terribly.  After that last deployment I figured I would never sleep alone again.  Then when we moved back to MN and the kids and I stayed to do our DRing in the big city and Keith moved up north to work, we were apart for almost 11 months once again.  Now we are FINALLY all under the same roof again, but the left side of the bed is empty.  Sacrifices must always be made in our world though and at least we get to have family time once again!!!  This Labor Day will mark our 1 year mark under the same roof and if we make it to Christmas without any catastrophes it will be our longest period of time living together!!!  Five years of marriage and between the military, medical issues and work, we have yet to make it over a year!  It is a family based on love that can pull that off!


So basically, all in all we are doing pretty good.  I see at least 10 more Harry Potter movie marathons in the near future, at least 30 slumber parties and lots of cuddles and air conditioning before the end of August!!!!!

Gage, Bo and Cote with their cousin Matty at the Fair.

Kick Up Your Feet

"Rachel, the problem is that you make people uncomfortable."


This is the statement that was said to me recently.  This statement (in multiple different wordings) has been said to me a lot in the last year.  I, plain and simple, make people uncomfortable.  I will give you the shirt off of my back.  I will give your children the food from my fridge.  If I have a spare dollar, I will give it to you for whatever you made need.


No matter what my day has been like, I have a smile and a kind word for you.  Stranger or best friend, I do my best to make your day the best it can be.  I crack jokes, I give hugs and I share the things I have.  I am not always a happy person, but the only person I let that show to is myself.  I try very hard to keep my stitches tight and this boat afloat.  I try to lend a hand and a compassionate shoulder to cry on to the people in my life.  Whether you are family, friend or acquaintance I will do my best to make sure you are taken care of.  


I do not drink more than a glass or two of wine a month.  I have not been in a bar in years.  I do not do much of anything without a child in tow.  I have come to terms with the fact that people wish I was the "old" Rachel.  The Rachel before children.  The Rachel who watched their children.  The Rachel who was the entertainer.  The Rachel who was the drinking buddy.  The Rachel who was the shoulder to cry on.  I am not the Rachel anymore and I never will be again.  I have come to terms with the fact that people can't handle seeing my children.  They don't know what to say.  They are afraid to offend me, so they avoid me.  These last four years there have only been a couple of shoulders for ME to cry on, although there are 350 people on my FB friends list.  There are people I held so dear to my heart, that have avoided me like the plague.  People that I thought would be there for me til the end, that didn't even invite me to their weddings.


Yet, I am the one that makes people uncomfortable.


I am a bit of a solitary soul.  I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere.  I have my husband and children and the couple of people the come out here, such as Melissa and grandparents.  I do not have the patience to deal with adults who are petty or disrespectful, as all of my patience goes to my children.  I do not have it in me to deal with any sort of drama.  I also don't have it in me to beg people to include us anymore.  I have hit a point where I have realized that if you don't want to invite my children to parties or play dates, or be a part of their lives, it is your loss.  I can't force you to want to get to know the real me.  I can't force you to want to get to know my family.  


Yet, I am the one who makes people uncomfortable.


Here is the reason why.  I am honest.  I am an Activist.  I will never lie to you about my children.  I will never  allow someone to be ashamed of themselves in any way if it is within my power.  I will stand up for anyone including myself.  I do not believe in bullying of any form.  I will always pick up that person being trampled on, whether it is in person or online, brush them off and teach them to puff out their chest.  I will stand by what I believe in.  I will stand by people who want to empower their peers.   Even if your beliefs are not my own, I will stand by your right to believe in them.   I choose to be proud of the things I believe in.  I choose to believe that it is everyone's right to live out their days they way they deem fit.  I choose to raise my children the way I feel is right.  I choose to not follow a certain religion even though I do not believe in it.  I choose to support other human beings in the choices they make.


Imagine a box.... a box full of all of the things perhaps you feel are your particular rules of life.  Let's say you reside in said box, as well as many many other people... maybe millions.  Think outside of that box... climb out and look around a little bit.  That's where you will find me.  I will be the one in the clouds and the grass and the water and the air.... anywhere but inside that box.  I suppose I would maybe even be called a "modern day hippie" and I am completely OK with that.


So here is something for you to ponder.  If the reason you push me away is that I make you uncomfortable, maybe it is time you start living and thinking outside of your box.