Day Two of Our New Homeschooling Adventure!

I am exhausted.  I am exhausted, and oh so glad that I decided to start this week instead of after Labor Day weekend.  Today Gager's had a rough day.  The phone kept ringing, he was over-tired and he was not in "the zone" this morning.  He and I sat down at the table and began our morning.  He struggled from the get-go to stay on task and I basically spent the next two hours re-directing him constantly.  At the middle point, I asked him to color a printed picture of a cow in a pasture.  I told him not to bother Melissa, as she was doing worksheets with Bo and Cote, and to please color the picture nicely.  As soon as I left the room, I could here him dropping stuff, fiddling, tormenting Melissa and basically everything but color.  15 minutes later I reentered the room to find a little chicken scratch coloring on the cow and that is it.  Basically about a 2 year old level.  After all was said and done I asked Melissa what she thought, and her opinion was basically the same as mine.  If he went to public school, he would need a Para all of his own.  Gage cannot stay on task and basically needs someone sitting directly beside him to guide him from task to task and make sure he can overcome and sort of distractions that arise.

Bo and Cote worked on worksheets with Mel while all of this was going on.  Cute worksheets.  I totally saved them :)

Nice part about homeschooling... if you need a little "cuddle break", you take one!

A certain someone is not impressed with me messing up her break :)

It's exhausting to have to behave for extended periods of time.

Ready to be released :)

Enjoying a little outside time.

These two are just so full of naughty!

My outdoorsy kid!

Gage's curriculum is all set up for the rest of the week and I filed what he did the first two days as well as journaled how everything went (in case in the future these records are ever needed).  I am heading to bed now, but please enjoy the pictures of our first couple of days of homeschooling!

With a Heavy Heart....

What a sad night it is to be a Northern Minnesota resident.

In the last week I have heard about a man who has been missing in the woods near my home for at least two weeks now.  Yesterday I heard about a man who went missing on his way out of this state for a vacation of sorts.  A nearby woman was reported missing and then was found Sunday evening.  Murdered.  A convict ran away from the local jail yesterday evening and is reported to be somewhere out here by me and on the run. A local woman passed away from cancer this early morning.  Many more have passed in the last couple of months.  A young man was recently in a one vehicle rollover.

My heart breaks when I think of not only the people who were lost and the families left behind, but also for the dreams that have been shattered.  I know that I for one have let myself believe that where I live is above violence and malice.  I have been careless in my family's safety because I believed the quaint little area I lived in would never be penetrated by wrong-doers.  I am openly admitting I was wrong.

So this is where I sit at this exact moment.  I am pretty sure I am not alone in this deep feeling of dread and anxiety.  You can wish for equality and freedom... hope for a particular Presidential candidate.... enjoy your own individuality... but there is something about messing with a persons safety or the safety and well-being if their family.  It's crossing a line that we in Northern Minnesota have just never had to draw too boldly.

First Day of Homeschooling

Phew.  What an absolute energy-sucker today was.  We were originally planning on starting directly after Labor Day weekend, but on a whim, I decided to throw ourselves in the mix today.  I figured this will give us a little bit of time to catch our bearing and sort of see what works.  We got up, whipped up breakfast and then devoured it, brushed teeth, got dressed and got to work.  Gage, Cote and I all got set up at the table while Bo headed outside for some adventures.  Cote's big homework of the day was to master patiently hanging out in her highchair with a stack of board books.  She did pretty good :)

Gage and I worked on the letter "B" (handwriting, recognition and pronunciation).  We also worked on shapes (squares and backwards circles), as well as slanted lines and a couple of coloring activities.  I wanted to do an Art project with all three kids after lunch, but I was not prepared to start today and made a large lunch we all needed to recover from.

First day of homeschooling ever.  What is my verdict, you ask?  I am more cemented than ever in my decision.  I spent a large portion of our time redirecting Gage's attention back to his assignments.  I imagine how he would be doing in a classroom setting and I cringe.  One full year of Headstart and Pre-School and one full year or Learning Readiness and he is still not where he should be for starting Kindergarten.  The problem is not with his old schools or with his teachers.  The problem is that he has Sensory Processing Disorder and needs to be taught a lot differently.  Gage is a super sociable kid and is very well-mannered.  He loves being in social settings and will absolutely light up a room.  The problem is not with how he does in those settings, but rather what he is learning in those settings.  He can barely hold a pencil.  He can barely scissor.  He cannot recognize the majority of his alphabet.... ect ect ect...  We were offered to do yet another year of Learning Readiness but kindly refused.  

Keith and I decided to give homeschooling a try because at this point, it may be our best option.  If this ends up falling through, and we have to go back into the public school system, we are absolutely going to need an IEP.  Homeschooling is going to help with our therapy schedule as well.  Gage was re-evaluated last week to see if he was going to need to keep seeing his Occupational Therapist and the answer is a big fat YES.  This will be his third year, and although he is improving, we definitely have a ways to go.  

So tonight I am going to go ahead and get our curriculum set up for the rest of the week.  Not sure if I will ever get to the point where I can get a whole month don, but you never know.  I could end up being one of those super organized mama's yet!

One eye open, and....

one hand on the Diet Mountain Dew.  Fail again in Rachel's world.  Keith knew.  He totally knew and brought me a bottle of liquid life/death home from the gas station this morning.

This Bo Bear.  I swear this child is trying to see exactly HOW naughty he can possibly be.  I have waited for four years and I knew this day was coming, and boy has it ever.  There is a tiny little voice in my head telling me he is only going to get naughtier, but for right now I am just going to dwell on the idea that I will never sleep again.

Bo can now quickly climb on the furniture to pull the stuff off of the walls.  In a way he is literally "climbing the walls", and isn't that the term we use when our kids are acting extremely hyper?  Well guess what?  My child is doing EXACTLY THAT!  Over the next week or so, I will be taking the arrangements down off of my walls and pondering what to do next.  If you know me, you know that I like to have a lot of stuff on the walls.  Maybe this will be my excuse to get some more updated things?  My mom and I are rummage sale junkies so I have a ton of odd, mismatched stuff.  My house is like a cross between an older ladies/ the Weasley's from Harry Potter/ and one big playroom.  I went over to my friend Crystal's new home the other day and it sort of inspired me.  She has a good eye so I may have to strong arm her into coming over and seeing if she can give me a little advice :)  I am all for constructive criticism.

The other new thing of Bo's is that he no longer wants to be inside.  The hot weather has broken here in the hot state of Minnesota *laughs at my hilariousness*, so we have been spending our days outdoors.  Bo can spend literally hours out there and when I make him come in for a snack, meal or diaper, he literally flips out!  It is roll on the floor funny, until bedtime comes and he is still torked!  Last night, in between rainy times, I let him play outside until 9:45 thinking he would pass out easily.  Negative.  He freaked out until 3:00am!  The night before it went on until 5:00am!

Our Pediatrician warned me this day was coming, and has asked me to see the Behavioral Specialist.  It looks like I am going to have to take him up on that offer.  Also, we will have to go back on the low-dose Melatonin and see if that gets him back on a schedule.  I wanted to take the summer off and see if maybe there was some chance he grew out of the need.  Apparently not.

I have no idea what sort of advice the Behavioral Specialist will have for me, but I am thinking his advice will be directed more towards MY behavior as opposed to Bo's.  It isn't so much about adjusting the Special Needs child's behavior, but more so how we as adults react to it.  We do time outs here, and use deep toned "No" as well as signing the word "No".  It will be interesting to hear what he has to say, that is for sure.  I do walk around the house "mean-mugging" the naughtiness when I am exhausted like this, lol.

Anywho's, I had best skidaddle and peek outside at those naughty little boys.  They are playing blocks on the blanket outside.

I am thinking about getting them a bunny.

Rachel=Glutton for Punishment

Formally....

"The Northern Woods Woman".

I have revamped my blog to reflect my true nature, hardy har har!  In all seriousness though, I realized one day that I am not your average woman.  When I was made, the mold was broke (and I don't just mean my hip size) and I have spent the last few years not minding one bit.

"The Northern Woods Gypsy" is now my persona and I sort of like it.  Why gypsy?  

One of the definitions of Gypsy are as follows;
Gypsy: A nomadic or free-spirited person

I think I have a fairly free-spirit.  I am a bit of a nomad.  I like myself this way and I am terribly strong willed.

I think "The Northern Woods Gypsy" is a good fit for me.  

Edited by Bangel

To some, the way I am is strange.  The things I say are alarming.  The way I live is confusing and my personality is overwhelming.  The important thing here is that I like myself.  I am proud of myself and sometimes I enjoy shutting the phone off and hibernating at home with my family and my own company.  I love to learn and I love to think.  I am not the kind of person that fits well with everyone.  If you are being a jerk, I will make sure realize it.  Social situations tend to make me nervous.  Recently someone told me I have "post social anxiety disorder".  She is right, lol.  I will drive myself crazy wondering if I spoke and acted appropriately.  I have no problem admitting when I am wrong.  I have a thick skin.  I wish people liked me more, but I can change who I am to accomplish that.

"The Northern Woods Gypsy".  

One of the most unlikable yet likable people you will ever meet.

The Black and White Demon on the Front Stoop.

I bet you are asking yourself, "Just HOW sleep deprived is she now?"  Oh, my friend, I am extremely sleep deprived, but that is completely besides the point!  I am at war with a new skunk!  I know it is a new skunk, because I took care of last years skunks!  

So this evil little creation has absolutely NO FEAR OF ME!  Oh you heard me right!  The first time he and I had a face-off, I was completely unaware that any skunk would even DARE step foot on this sacred, skunk-free farm.  I was walking out to check on the ducks and bring them some bread and there he was!  That black and white demon was on the front stoop!  He was eating the cat food, and our little bastard kittens were watching!  I hurriedly rushed back inside, and he just kept on eating.  I flickered the outside light off and on, and he just kept on eating.  I knocked on the window, and he just kept on eating.  Finally, irate, I slammed the front door as hard as I could!  He ran off, leaving the slight scent of damnation behind him and I won that round!

Ultimately waking up Bo and Cote.

Since then I have been trying to catch him in the act again.  Do I plan on shooting him?  No.  I would miss.  Do I plan on scaring the tar out of him?  Affirmative.  I keep waiting to see if it goes after my chickens in the meantime. 

No one messes with my chickens.

Last year it was a war zone here at our farm due to the skunks.  No one had lived here for many years, so they sort of thought they owned the place.  No kidding, we had one I actually thought was a dog.  Wonder where the deer went in Skime?  The skunks that lived at our farm ate them!  You couldn't step outside past 8:00pm because there would be half a dozen skunks roaming around.  People would drop by and have to run to the front door!  

One night Keith and my brother Mitchel decided that they were going to post outside and clear them out.  Keith lured them in with leftovers in various places and then they used ladders as hunting stands.  For HOURS those two goonballs sat outside and finally they got a couple.  One was nailed right in front of the house though, and it made the entire interior, exterior and my van stink for about 2 weeks!  The next morning I got up and went outside and I saw that Keith had lured them in with leftovers put in my NICE baking dishes!  Nice baking dishes now filled with bullet holes!!!

So tonight, I decided I was going to hurry and snag the cat dishes before the skunk arrived; TOO LATE!  That little spawn looked me in the eye, sneered, and then hightailed it!  He is so lucky my running shoes weren't nearby, because I so would have karate jumped him!

Sometimes I think that living here has set me up for some sort of cosmic joke.  The last year has been a bit of a cross between the movie "Funny Farm" and the show "Green Acres".  I am pretty sure that if there were higher powers involved, they are having a "LOFLMFAOTIPO" over the day to day scenario's here!

The only thing that is stopping me from setting up the deer cam's pointed at my house is the fact that I would probably try and set up some sort of ridiculous booby trap next.

This is not the last you will be hearing about my arch nemesis, and am pretty sure he will be playing mind games with me for weeks to come.

Is It Worth It?

We live in a free country... well I think we do anyways.  I was under the impression that we were free to vote for who we want in Presidential Office.  What religion we want to practice.  What to do with our bodies.  Who to love.  I thought that these were freedoms we were given by living in the United States of America, but I am starting to believe I was wrong.  As the internet, radio and headlines blow up with stories about the Anti/Pro Gay Marriage debate, I realize just how much we are struggling as a country.  We are no longer "United" but actually in the midst of a war of sorts.  Daggers are thrown and low blows given out.  It makes my heart hurt and I struggle desperately to keep a mature perspective and not get sucked in to the negative arguments.   In my opinion, it all boils down to allowing other people to just live their lives.  Who YOU marry is not going to affect MY marriage.  What YOU do with your body is not going to affect MY body.  The religion YOU follow is not going to change MY faith.  Yet, all I see on the internet is people belittling one another.  You can not tell someone that their way is wrong and your way is the correct way.  That is not fair and it is not right.  

We are not made to be the same.  All of us look different; we have different hair and skin tones and eye color and bone structure... so we are of course going to have different brains.  We think different thoughts, and we have different interests.  Some of us excel at things like Art, while others at sports.  Some of us write blogs and some of us start business.  We are just completely not the same.  

I have many different friends from many different beliefs.  I do not poo-poo their belief systems, and I love hearing about everyone's religions and cultures.  Do I believe in the exact same thing?  No.  Do I feel they are wrong?  No.  Well, not until they get verbally violent anyway.

How my brain works is based on History and Science.  There is very little room for religion when you have a brain that is ticking a hundred miles an hour, constantly dissecting every scrap of information that is being inputed.  I want to be the person who can have blind faith in something, but I cannot.  I have to choose to believe in something, and at this point in my life I want to choose a religion that is non-judgmental.  I am a free thinker and a Human Rights Advocate.  That means ALL of the rights.  I know that I make people uncomfortable, and for that I am not sorry.  I cannot change who I am to make you feel at ease with me.  That is not fair to my soul.  You cannot fake who you are, you can only hope the people around you will love you for who you are.  I don't expect a single person I know to change for me; well except Gage.  I want him to start brushing ALL of his teeth, not just the front four.

This past week I have been advocating pretty diligently.  I have been Facebook "liking" a lot of things that I would maybe not have been open to peeking at before.  I have been making many more comments on things lately, posting advocacy signs and throwing the words of my heart out there to anyone who will listen.  In return I have had a lot of positive feedback and some nice messages from people telling me how hearing my words inspire them to to stand up for themselves.  The negative side is that six people have unfriended me, I have received 2 nasty messages and I have quite a few messages that friends won't return. 

I know I live in a small community, but come on!  You can do worse than a friend like me... it's not like I am going to ever judge you!  *by the way, that was a little bit of humor*  I am not going to strike up a conversation with you about if you are Christian/Republican/Athiest/Democrat/ProChoice/ProLife/Jewish/Unmarried/Mormon/Pagan/Muslim/Liberal/Conservative/Ect. and tell you how wrong those beliefs are.  I believe EVERYONE has a right to their beliefs.  Where I step in is when the speech gets violent or when someone is getting bullied.  As everyone knows, I also step in immediately when there is racial slurs or offensive language towards those with Special Needs.  Maybe these are the reasons we are not invited to play dates and Birthday parties.  Maybe it has nothing to do with the fact my children have Special Needs, but more so that people are uncomfortable with their mother.  That would be such a shame wouldn't it?  I think I would rather that were the case though, because my heart breaks when I think of them getting shunned due to their Special Needs.

My opinion on the Chick-Fil-A/Gay Marriage fiasco are as follows; I am Pro-Gay Marriage.  I am upset with Dan Cathy/Chick-Fil-A for opening a huge flood-gate, but it was bound to happen.  As much as I hate to eat my words, it is technically their right to be honest about their opinion.  The citizens out there who are Anti-Gay Marriage have the right to their own opinions as well.  It is painful to know that they oppose anyone's right to be themselves, but it is what it is.  What I DO have a major problem with, is when it gets nasty.  When the "Anti's" are bullying and belittling the "Pro's" as well as those in love with someone of the same gender.  Also, when Christians are cherry-picking Bible verses to prove their points.   Not one single person has the right to point a finger at someone else.  Be honest with yourself, because I don't know of a single religion that thinks lying is cool. Also, don't go onto someone else's Facebook page and start dissecting their beliefs.  Not cool.  It is going to be interesting to see how this whole thing ends up playing out, and all I can do is hope it does not get violent.  I actually had a dream the other night that another Civil War started.  Creeped me out tremendously.

So my question tonight is, "Is it worth it?  Is it worth it being honest with the entire world if it means possibly being shunned?  If it means people will shun your already socially-struggling children?"

My answer is Heckers Yes.  Maybe my kids won't get to have as many social opportunities as yours, but they will grow to realize that their Mom stood up for the rights of EVERY person in this great land, and did it with a hug and a kind word for everyone in between.  They will know I did not lie or pretend to be someone I am not and they will grow learning that every person should be given the love, respect, charity and understanding that you would expect for yourself.  

Peace.

Dancing in the Rain

The heat has temporarily broke here in Minnesota, making way for a cooler breeze, rain, thunder and lightning.  The heavens are smiling upon us and I feel a little cool relief.  It has been so nasty hot lately, that we have all been in hiding, having Harry Potter movie marathons and sending eye daggers to our struggling window A/C.  Bo and Cote have struggled with the heat since the day they were born, but over the last two weeks Gage has had a hard time with it as well.  We even went as far as to basically buzz his hair to try and keep him a bit cooler.

So tonight at about 7:30pm the four of us headed outside for a scavenger hunt.  I popped Bo and Cote into their wagons and we tootled around the yard, searching for pine cones, leaves, sticks, feathers and crystals (aka rocks, lol).  We have a radio in the garage that we keep cranked up and all of a sudden a very nice song came on.  I for the life of me cannot remember what it was called, but it was a nice slow one.  I turned to Gage and asked him if he would like to dance, and he graciously accepted.


There we were, in the middle of nowhere, on the driveway, at our own private sanctuary... dancing.  He gingerly tucked his small (but in many ways, not small enough) right hand into my large left one.  I laid my right hand on his boyish shoulder and he placed his left hand gentlemanly on my hip.  We began to dance and it was at that exact moment when I realized I would give anything to rewind time and replay the last 6 years.  I would desperately attempt to suck up and savor every single second that has ticked by; every single second that I fear I have missed.  This boy dancing with his mother in the driveway, this boy deserves the entire world.


The rain began halfway through the song and Gage and I broke away to celebrate the drops.  We whirled and twirled, and I was thankful for the respite, as I was dangerously close to tears.  


As a parent I have moments often where I balk at how fast time is flying, but I have been reflecting on Gage a lot lately.  I became pregnant with Bo when Gage was 13 months old.  I had immediate sciatica with him that lasted the entire pregnancy.  I was high risk with all of my pregnancy, and everyone knows what that means... high risk= a million appointments.


Then Bo came and with him the instant "no eating".  We would spend countless hours trying to get a few small ounces in the child.  Within a couple of months, Bo's doctoring began.  Then therapies.  Then a pregnancy surprise.  Then the deployment.  More doctoring for Bo.  More prenatal's for me.  More Therapies for Bo.  More pregnancy misery for me.  More "non-eating" for Bo.  Then came Cote.  Then her diagnosis.  Then her RSV.  Then her doctoring.  More of Bo's doctoring.  Therapies for Bo and Cote.... I am guessing you see a pattern here?


Although Gage has been a better sport than I could have ever wished for, there is a vice-grip on my heart when I think of what he has been denied all of these years.  He has never shown an ounce of violence towards his siblings and he has shown nothing but patience for them.  I used to think that it was because of how he was raised, and I have taken credit for that.  What I am beginning to wonder is this; is it possible that he has never lashed out or acted like a Crank Butt because, in fact, he was never given an opportunity to get spoiled?  I believe in attachment parenting, and I have tried to give him every scrap of extra I have had, but was it enough?  Was it enough for this sweet child, who lets his siblings pull his hair and climb all over him?  Was it enough for the defender of Bo and Cote's naughty antics?  Was it enough for the five year old boy who tells me that he doesn't mind that Bo and Cote have Special Needs, because they are his brother and sister and he loves them?


Probably not, but I can't fix it and as much as I wish I could, I can't rewind time.  All I can do is attempt to suck in every single moment in the now and hope I can be the mom he needs in the coming years.


As the song began to wind down, Gage came back over to me and resumed the position.  We danced and I tried desperately to swallow the enormous lump in my throat.  In that moment I felt as if it were he taking care of me.  Like he knew my mind was in a regretful place and he was trying to assure me with his grace that he understood.  At five, a child should not have to be the one to understand, he should be the one who busts a window with a rock or punches his brother in the arm.  He should not be the one looking at his mother with worldly eyes, and wordlessly consoling her.


We danced our awkward dance moves, and as the song was ending, Gage asked me one of our favorite mother/son banter questions;


"Are you my sweetheart?"


"Of course I am your sweet heart, are you MY sweetheart?" I replied.


"Of course."


"Gage, are you my brown eyed prince?" I asked.


"Of course I am, Mom.  Guess how much I love you?" He asked.


"How much, hunny?"


"Eighty, fifty, sixty-two, hundred million gajillion!" He shouted!


"That's a big number, hunny!" I said.  "May I please have a kiss?"


"Of course."

Farm Nerd

I have finally realized that I am a chicken lover.  When we first got chickens, I thought that it was going to be primarily to put some wholesome food in my children's belly's.  I wanted make them eggs that I knew were hormone free and that had nice orange yolks bursting with creamy flavor.  I wanted to bake them roast chicken from birds raised in a loving, cruelty free environment.  Our chickens are basically spoiled rotten and well loved.  They get some sort of treat every day.  Fruits, veggies, nuts, oats and wheat, corn, feed, worms and bugs and best of all... grass.

This morning's treat for the chicken's and ducks.

It is hard work being spoiled rotten.

Every time I head out to their area, the chickens come a'running!  It makes me feel as if they are secure and confident and that we are succeeding in our goal.  The ducks I will admit are quite a bit more anti-social.  We received them when they were about a week old, and although we handled them constantly, they have pretty much just stuck to themselves.  The chickens enjoy visiting, but they do not care for being handled.  Every once in a while, Gage has to give it a shot, but ends up being defeated by the chicken's strong wills.

Chicken's enjoying their morning treat.

The ducks can be caught, but you have to catch them the hard way.... by literally chasing them down.  I have found what slows them down is when they get separated.  They do NOT like getting separated from each other, so they end up stopping.  They have reached a size and age now where chasing them down for handling is not appropriate, so now we enjoy just sitting back and watching their antics.  They are stand-offish and anti-social and super super dramatic.  Our plans for the ducks are eggs, meat and entertainment.  Also, if you want to get in good with the ducks, swing out to our farm with your leftover bread crusts.

Snobby Snobberson's

Our alpha rooster Ernie is now finally crowing.  You can tell him apart from our other rooster Bert by the fact that Ernie's comb is much larger.  He struts around like he owns the joint, and I am confidant he will be able to protect the chickens from here on out.  He has reached a size where I am starting to think it would be a good idea for kids (including Gage) to start wearing safety glasses when entering the bird area.

Ernie the alpha rooster.

He is sort of a stinker.

Right now we have three breeds of chickens.  The fat tan ones are called Buff Orpingtons and they are a dual purpose bird.  They have high quality meat and they are moderate layers of brown eggs.  The black and white ones are called Barred Rock's and they are also a dual purpose bird.  They lay a bit more brown eggs than the Buff Orpingtons but they are not as meaty.  Lastly we have only one of the brown and white ones left.  They are called Red Sex-Link.  They are an egg laying breed that is supposed to lay a high volume of brown eggs.  They are very skittish and not what I would consider social.  Our previous adult cats ate all of the rest of these.  Our plans at this point are to get another batch of chicks this month.  Our flock will not be laying until Spring and we are super excited for that first egg discovery in the coop!

These are Barred Rock.  Very curious and friendly.  If you were ever to want to get a backyard chicken for a pet, I would suggest this breed.

The breed of ducks we decided to start out with are basic Pekin Ducks.  The are obsessed with trying to lay in the waterer and are the underdogs of the bird area.   Next year we will not be having them integrated with the chickens.  Also, we probably will not increase our duck flock until Spring.

So I hope you have enjoyed my little bit of Farm Nerdiness, you will be seeing quite a bit of it from here on out!  *insert evil laugh*