A four hour nap.
Kidding aside, I feel like a million bucks right now! It is not often that I get that much uninterrupted sleep, and I am extremely grateful for the nap. I actually feel like I am firing with all of my pistons tonight, and it has been a while since I could say that.
After I finished Cote's "nigh nigh" bottle tonight, I rocked her for a while before brushing her teeth and laying her down. I finger combed her hair that has grown so long and rubbed her sweet baby skin. She smiled up at me with her rosebud mouth and exotic shaped eyes. She has now learned how to actually cling onto me for a hug and I am on cloud 9.
She hugs me constantly now.
I started thinking about all of the stories and pictures that have been on my Facebook friends newsfeeds over the last couple of months. Little girls Cote's age in dance, having birthday parties, figure skating and a plethora of other exciting things. I love seeing the pictures and I feel pride for all kiddo's learning, growing and experiencing. I love being around my friends children and I honestly enjoy the antics of all kids and babies.
As I rocked Cote though, and I looked down at her sweet innocent features, it really hit me how absolutely lucky I am. As my friends children grow and become more independent, I have been given the gift of children who love me unconditionally. Of children with love so pure that they do not discriminate against a persons age, race, sex, cognitve or physical ability or occupation. They will never base their love on what a person can give them... nor will they shun someone because of their social status.
For a long time I have sat back and been upset when my children have not been invited to playdates or birthday parties. I have cried in private over the fact that my children have basically one shared friend. I have cried as I have wished for a way to help them fit in with their peers. I have literally made myself ill worrying about their futures and how they will be treated.
I looked into Cote's eyes tonight and my faith in the future was renewed.
At this point in her and her brothers tiny lives, they don't care about much else outside of me and playing. They all love me so deeply that it is almost smothering. I am so absolutely smothered in my childrens love... that is something that not everyone is given the gift of. It is something that I sometimes take for granted, and it is sometimes left in the dust in our pursuit of meeting goals. Cote is now following me with her eyes as I clean, both Bo and Cote can say a mumbled "mama" and Bo and Gage follow me around like my pockets are stuffed with candy. They all love to sleep with me and cuddle and all three of them love shopping days and excursions with Mommy.
Bo and Cote may not ever get to be in skating, dance, sports or any other sort of traditional exciting activity, but I know in my heart that they are ahead of the pack in terms of love. Gage may not be the very best at sports, but you will not find another kid out there having more fun or being more social than him.
They will find their way in life, and I know that in time more and more people will see what I see. Until then, I will continue to pour myself into giving them the best life I possibly can. It is an honor and I am both proud as well as lucky to have been given three amazing kiddo's who actually think I am cool.
Anywho I better call it a night for now. Bo is starting to fuss, so I have a feeling another round of rocking is in the cards for tonight. Twist my arm.
Goodnight and lots of love,
Rachel
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