School Is Da' Bomb (yes, I really just wrote that)

Today my Bo and Cote went to school.  First they did an hour of ECFE and then an hour with their Early Childhood Special Education teacher and their Speech Pathologist through the school system.  Melissa and their teacher took them in and guided them through everything.  They were both by their sides through the whole process, and I am eternally grateful.

I was not present whatsoever.

You had best believe that during the morning getting ready, the drive to town, and the entire time they were in school, my uterus was sitting in my left knee-cap.

This was one of my hardest moments in my motherhood journey.  Any parent out there can understand to a point.  First day of school, you have to bring your child to school and wave goodbye and walk away.  When it was Gage's first day of school, I sat in the van and bawled.  I am not ashamed.  This is different though.  Gage would come home and tell me when something good or bad happened.   So what do you do when your children are non-communicative?

Panic.

The only reason I was able to force myself to do this was knowing that Melissa would respect my wishes and help protect them.  She knew that if anything derogatory were to be spoken to or about them, that they were to be removed immediately.  I am not saying it would necessarily happen, but I am also not saying that it wouldn't.  It is amazing the things that have been said to us over the years.  People for some reason often do not think we deserve common courtesy, thus the nervousness.

So Melissa went in there with an open mind, but a back-up plan in her back pocket.  Gage and I headed to the Public Library to have class.

This was a really nice little adventure for us and it was refreshing to change up our Homeschooling routine.  We snagged one of the kits the Library puts together (we did the farm one) and headed into a study room to dig in.  We probably read about 7 books while we were there and then we went on the hunt for new material for the week.  We spent some time studying the globe, and sat on the couches and read quietly.

Homeschooling is going really well.  In a month Gage has soared educationally.  The one-on-one is exactly what he needed.  He literally needs someone to sit right by him, constantly redirecting him, but it is so worth it.  It is hard for me emotionally because he desperately wants to go to the Public School.  My guilt has been gnawing at me in a ferocious way, so I was thankful when Melissa stepped in today to remind me of why we had decided to Homeschool.  Like she said, what is more important?  Gage going to school and having a blast but not getting a real education?  Or Homeschooling and actually standing a chance to learn?  The most important thing truly is his education.  We have started Cub Scouts and we will be starting 4H.  Also, within a few weeks we will be starting hockey.  All of these things will help give him what he is craving.  He is still receiving Occupational services twice a week and he is having a very hard time in the Sensory Processing Disorder department.

I have faith that Homeschooling was our best option, but I guess I need to be reminded occasionally when I get a bout of Mommy-Guilt.

So after we were done at the library, we headed back to pick up everyone at the school.  Melissa and the kids' teacher wheeled them out in the wagon and met me at the car.  I was super nervous and just hoping that everything went ok.

Here is the lowdown.  Cote absolutely loved it all!  She played and smiled and laughed and was so happy to be in the midst of all of the commotion!  Bo on the other hand, did not.  He covered his ears from the noise quite a bit and even cried.  The reason being is that all three of my children have Sensory issues.  Gage and Bo have high Sensory.  Basically what this means is that the world around them is "too much".  Gage gets extremely excitable and Bo gets very overwhelmed and upset.  Cote has what is called low Sensory.  This means that today pumped her up to where she actually needed to be.  Normally she is very laid back and sort of sleepy.  She falls asleep very very very easily.

All in all it was a success I think.  Besides setting up a plan for when Bo gets upset like that, I think this is a great thing for them.  Was it hard for me?  Yes.  Will I let my guard down now?  No.  Never.

The reason why is because it is not my job to be the cool and relaxed mom.  Being cool and relaxed is not what has gotten us to the point we are now.  I will continue being the over-protective, over-bearing Mama-Bear for as long as that is what is needed of me.  My children are three and four physically, and cognitively they are both under the age of one.  Tell me how you would be when it came to the physical and emotional safety of your children... especially at that age.  It is my job to protect them and nurture them, not to teach them to toughen up.  I will never forget the time I was told that I needed to let the kids "learn how it is really like out in the real world", when I was in the midst of a conversation about in-school bullying.  I subliminally punched that person in the mouth.

I do not care if it is tomorrow or if it is when my kids are in their teens; if I find out they are being bullied or made fun of, we will find a healthier alternative.  Being born with Special Needs does not mean that they automatically earn the role of punching bag.  They did not do this to themselves and they deserve respect and love.  They deserve friendships and nurturing from their peers and the adults in the community.

So far, so good.  This will be our routine on Thursdays.  The rest of the week will still be filled with Homeschooling, therapies and appointments....

And the evenings will hopefully be filled with cuddles and play.