Money Makes the World Go Round....

But what about when it doesn't? What happens when you find yourself starting to suffocate?

When a person has a child, they acknowledge the fact that children are costly. There are so many aspects that make child-rearing expensive...

What happens when that child is one with special needs?

What happens when another surprise baby comes along?

What happens when THAT baby has special needs?

I know! You pull up your big girl panties and get on with it!

I am in the midst of attending college. I go to school online and will eventually work from home. I am also looking at other thins I can do for my family to start pulling in some income. I am considering starting up and at-home Apothecary and possibly Specialty Treats. I need to do something with my life and I think maybe this could be a good step for me. Keith is attending college full-time for Massage Therapy. We are BOTH in college. Probably not the smartest move, but is the move we chose.

As I am writing this, I wonder what the point of this blog could possibly be? It isn't really a rant; as I am actually not angry. It's maybe a bit of a whine? Maybe a whine about the fact I have yet to win the lottery? Have an unknown great-uncle Herman leave me his fortune?

It's truthfully a whine about my lack of control of my financial situation. About my fear of the unknown... where my family will be sitting in a year from now. I am afraid, and because of that, I whine.

I do believe that we can control our own destinies... to a point. I do know that it is up to me to make sure my family is OK... that we can afford all the things my children need. I know I need to squeeze my destiny by the balls and whip my life into shape.

Live and Let Live

Take a moment and play make believe with me.

Imagine it is the year 2010. Imagine we live in a world where it is not OK to have a different religion that your neighbor. Where the color of your skin earns you sneers. Where you are not free to love who you want without hate flowing your way. Imagine a place where people with disabilities are tormented and teased and you can be hated due to gossip.

Now, go ahead and come back to reality.

That's right... we are in reality.

This is our reality. We live in a world so full of hate and judgments that people cannot see past themselves anymore. The world is not seeing the beauty which is called "difference". How are we to learn from each other, if we are all the same? I hate to think of our children's future... of MY children's futures. I want our generation and our children's generation to accept one another and accept each others life choices.

Here's the kicker... how does it begin? How do we start making the change? Can a handful of people start the wave that could one day lead to acceptance?

It takes one person. One person to attend a Pagan wedding or say congrats to the union of Mike and Troy or stop for a conversation with the Special Needs Greeter at the mall. One person to show that a persons heart can be open to all.

I want to be that person. Do you?

Cant Touch This!

If you could have a Soundtrack to go through life with, what would it contain? When you were stressed would it play a good "System of a Down" song? A little "Mariah Carey" when you are feeling romantic? A little "Marvin Gaye" when you are ready for making some fake babies?

I have thought of this question and if I had a "Life Soundtrack", I think I wold have "MC Hammer" on repeat. Something about "MC Hammer" just makes me smile, whether it's the lighthearted lyrics, the goofy outfits or the body pumpin beats. "MC Hammer" is my man.

I can imagine going through my every day activities with some tunes in the background. I can picture getting the kids ready in the morning and out the door for our day full of action with a little "Too Legit To Quit" floating in the air. Shake shake shakin my booty as kids get loaded in the van and arm pumping on the way to the clinic.

It would at least take the edge off.

The edge.

Maybe a little music would help me to not fall over it.

Things are going a little smoother these days; in some area's anyways. The therapy itself is going great here. We really hope to be able to stay in the area permenantly and we both have our fingers crossed. Not so great is ust everyday routine. I am working my tail off trying to create one, but I am failing miserably. I need to become organized, energized and motivated but it seems the more I strive to be, the more I falter. I end u so stressed it feels like I can barely function thus making me worse of than in the beginning.

There's that damn edge again.

I can do this. I can get get my ass in gear and get this show on the road, I know I can! I can maintain my positive outlook and maintain my positive energy towards others.

"Can't Touch This (na nanana nana nana)"

Oops, sorry about that... kinda a little bit of an attention falter.

At least it keeps me from that damn edge.

Tae Bow Perhaps?

So, I was talking to someone recently and she commented on my ability to keep an optomistic attitude about my life. I can "keep taking hits" and am still able to keep going without being a Piss Pot Pete.

I have thought of these words today and this is the best I can answer this.

I have moments where I turn into a mushball and need a hug. I dont give a reason I just hug one of my peoples. I kiss and love on my babies and husband all day long. Secret is that it is just as much for me as it is for them. I sometimes take an extra shower so I can sit in the bottom and get my cry on. I text message my best friend all day long.

I am big on sharing. I have learned to not hold back. I feel as people we learn from each other. We grow from learning about the lives of others and we take life lessons from people daily. I will talk anatomy to physiology to emotions... anything you want to talk about, I am game for.

Unless it is my deepest emotions. Those not even I can process. I let these fester till I implode... as you can see from a couple of my earlier posts. I am a human being and sometimes I need to crumble too.

For the most part though I think of life this way... If I give up, what then? WHat will happen to each of my children? What will their lives be like? If I let myself fall into this deep depression, how will they cope? If I start bitching all day long, will they be able to process it? Children are little sponges... no matter what. They know your emotions... they can feel your emotions. They feel love and they feel sorrow and they feel anger. They dont just know it because you have spoken it, they feel it radiating off of you. SO, if I walk around being an emotional wreck, I am pretty sure that they are the ones who will be paying the toll.

So this is why or how I dont let lifes punches get me down. I CHOOSE to live life as positively as I can. This doesnt mean I dont have moments or days, but I know that with mind power I can pull my ass out of it.

I have my little protective bubble of people I can let my hair down with if I need, but mostly I keep my ducks in a row for my kids :)

Sheera... Queen of East Grand Forks!

I come swooping through the city on my sweet tan, granny van. I speed race through twisting streets and over tall bridges. I watch the traffic lights with animated fervor and glare at the clock with anticipation.

I am about to make everyone late for Therapy.

This is the story of my life these days. I skid into the Rehabilitaion Center each day by the skin of my teeth... and a glare from the check in clerk's eye.

They know I am late too.

So here is my actual update of the day. Moose had his Physical Therapy Evaluation today and he did flippin awesome! It looks like he is right where he is supposed to be so come time for Headstart he will just SOOOAAARRR!

I think I just pee'd a little.

Monkey is trying desperatly to crawl. He wants to so badly and he wants to get his hands (or teeth) on Moose. When Monkey gets mobile this household is going to reach a whole new level of insane.

Foo is working on babbling some more. It is starting to sound like she is saying Mama (fingers crossed). I hope she is. Now it's just to work on teaching her to say "Mommy Beautiful".

As for me, well I am a little pooped. The weather is helping though... I hate the snow. The Man has been letting me sneak away for naps too. My doctor called the other day to ask me about the pain... and I told him I am managing. I wasn't lying either, I truly am managing. I am so busy with things that I just ignore the pain basically and keep going. In the evenings I take a hot bath and that helps also. With time I know that I will conquer this.

So thats it for updates for this particular moment. I dont think Moose is going to need any therapy services, although June will tell us more. And I truly think I need help in the Time Management area.

Lavender Fields

This Blog has nothing to do with Lavender Fields. I kind of just enjoy messing with you a bit. It actually has to do with crashing waves, calming water sounds, sun and freedom.

AKA the Lake Cabin.

After much deliberation between the Man and I, we have decided that the kids and I will be going to the lake on Thursday afternoons through Sunday afternoons this summer. The kids need some summer freedom after a grueling week of therapy and mommy needs a place the just veg out. The Man will use this time to work on his monster truck, but will be coming with us on an occasional weekend.

I am excited but a little sad at the same time. I hate that we will be aprt so much, but this may be our last summer of this much freedom. Starting this Fall, the therapy department would like to put Monkey on and Extensive Therapy Program. This means he will be doing therapy at the hospital AT LEAST 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. He will recieve ADDITIONAL services through the school system. Our lives will be becoming a whole lot more interesting.

We might as well take advantage of this summer.

At the lake, we will have limited phone and internet, unless we decide otherwise.

This should be even more interesting, lol.

Fresh Air

This was a good weekend. Actually, this was one of those awesome weekends you want to never end. This weekend ended too fast. I dont know if it was the fresh air or the wide open fields... lack of traffic or just the fact I was close to my mom, but this was a great weekend. Not much was different from my day to day; I worked my rear off to help my mom get ready for the party, and chase Moose, and take care of babies... but there is something so stress free about being in the country. It's like all the things that drive you carzy are erased one you are surrounded by towering pines.

I was able to see so much family that I havent seen in a year. Foo was introduced grandly and she wrapped them all around her little princess finger. Monkey amazed all with how far he had come this year and Moose won them all over with his laugh. I loved this weekend and I did not want it to end. I was able to see a certain cousin who has been on my mind alot this year. She has her own batch of stuggles and I send good thoughts out for her every day. She is doing better than I expected but not as well as I have hoped. She will prevail though, I have faith.

Also, The Man and I have been discussing the Summer events. All three kids have Summer Birthdays, our Anniversary, Baptism, plus all the great holidays and multiple Bdays and Anniversarys. Planning, planning, planning.... never ending. I have faith that today is going to help me get started in the direction I need to be going. Yay!

Help.

Lately I have been wondering a lot about my life. At what point was it that I lost so much trust in Everyone? Anyone? Three years ago I was hurt so immensely, so entirely, that I think the part of me that will allow me to have an open heart was destroyed. I have always been so irritated by people that have a wall up against the ones around them... now I know I am queen to that world.

A little over three years ago, back home, what I experienced was a little like the Salem Witch Trials. That's what it felt like to me anyways. I was put up to judgement from all the people around me. I was lied about, scorned in public, publicly humiliated. The people around me were turned against me one by one till I was to the point that I didnt want to leave my home. I didnt answer the phone, I wouldn't see visitors... I wanted to be left alone. These people ruined my heart for a long time, and to this day I am still working out trust issues. Hell, the aftermath from this time is still occuring and will probably do so till the day I die.

I could go into details. I could go into so many details that the typing would start melting off of the computer screen. Yes it was that bad. Because of that I will not go into details. I try to remember that time as just being ugly and no remember every ugly detail.

Since that time, I had begun to mend. I had worked out my trust issues a bit and was walking a much happier path. Until last Summer. I was blasted again from a very unlikely source, a source so close to home a person would never expect it. I was blasted by family. Not my family, but family nonetheless. I was pregnant, The Man was deployed, Monkey had started therapy, my life was crumbling... and I got blasted.

I was blasted by the latest Deployment...

I was blasted by Hypotonia...

I was blasted by life in general...

Recently I was blasted by family again.

What causes a person to lie? To destroy happiness? Where does deceit come from?

I have hit the "piss or get off the pot" point with this situation. I need to figure out how to mend myself and get it done. I need true happiness and I need to be able to open up to those people in my life that I love. I have started with trying to reserve a little blotch of time everyday just for me... and I hope to get to start walking soon. I am putting this out there so receive advice from the people around me. I know I am not the only person on this earth that struggles with trust issues and I welcome help.

Another Germ

Too much is going on in my home. Too much stress. Foo has been sick since she got RSV this last winter, I swear. That baby cannot catch a break. Monkey has had a fever off and on since Monday. We are rotating the Tylenol and the Motrin but he absolutely doesn not want to eat. Every feeding is a complete battle and The Man and I are losing. Moose is feeling the effects of all the baby drama and wants kisses and hugs about every ten minutes.

I am officially fried.

Looks like I am only taking one class this summer and that is F-I-N-E by me! It is a condensed course so I am not looking forward to it. The Man starts school in June too... so we are going to be so crazy busy... I am actually slightly not looking forward to it. Uff...

But thats all I am actually in the mood to write at this time. I will attempt to get on here tomorrow... no promises though ;)

SCRRREEEAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!!

I thought writing that previous blog would make me feel better. I thought maybe talking about my stress would relieve some. It did not. It did not help. What's going to help?

How does a person cope when so many things have take so many unexpected turns in a few short years? How does a person cope when you receive news that your child isnt going to do what most children can do? How do you cope when you receive that news again?

I have never allowed myself the chance to work through everything. My days spin more and more out of control, and I seldom get a chance to sort out these last couple of years.

I want answers to why this has all happened and I want answers as to what the future holds for our family.

I want to know what more I should be doing to help my babies.

I want to know when I can let my guard down.

And so, it rears it's ugly head.

Post Partum Depression? Anxiety? Stress? Who know's what the technical term may be. What I know is this; I am having some big damn issue's. I feel like everyday is a blur these days. The world spins faster and faster and I can't keep up. So much to do, so many things to accomplish, in one short tiny day. Schedules, tasks, phone calls. Bottles, feedings, diapers, pull ups, naps, cleaning, laundry, appointments, therapy, cooking, reading, playing outside, homework, tests, labs, vehicle maintenence... this list goes on. And on. And on. Sometimes I just want to talk to someone that could come close to understanding. Instead I just keep it all to myself as I struggle to keep it together for yet another day. I cant crumble and I cant show weakness. If I do I am a bad Mom. I need to be doing exactly what every therapist wants me to be doing. If I miss something I am a bad Mom. All the kids need to be eating these perfect meals that support thier particular diets. If I get McDonalds I am a bad Mom. If I forget to have the diaper bag perfectly packed I am a bad Mom. If I want to take a nap I am a bad Mom. If I am not up and current on all of the local childrems programs I am a bad Mom. If I dont have every single fucking educational toy known to man, I am a bad Mom. If there is a smudge of pudding I missed when I wiped faces, I am a bad Mom. If I dont remember everything that was said at an appointment word for word, I am a bad Mom.

Well, you know what? Get the fuck off my back. Take one afternoon out of your existance and job shadow my life. I have a husband who is coping with returning home after his second LONG deployment in 3 years. First deployment-15 months. Second deployment- 12 months. I have a 3 year old with Athsma, Cerebral Palsy, possible Autism Spectrum Disorder, and hyperactivity. I have a soon to be 2 year old who has Global Developmental Delays. He cannot crawl, he cannot talk, he drinks bottles and cannot feed himself. He is completely dependent on me. I have an 8 month old who is in the exact same boat.

I would love to see any of the people who judge me take a short stint in my life. It's not easy and I dont complain, but every once in a while I need to be human. I am not superwoman, but the minute I breathe frusteration I am a bad Mom.

Sometimes I need help too. Sometimes I need someone to talk to also. Sometimes I want to scream and sometimes I want to cry. Hell, sometimes I want to go to a therapist. But I cant. Try fitting any of these things into my schedule and you will laugh.

Final's

I havent gotten much of an opprotunity to get my Blogs pumped out lately due to my upcoming Final's. I cant believe my first semester is finaling coming to an end. I truly have had hundreds of moments when I thought I wasnt going to make it... when I thought I was insane for taking college on right now.

I had to take college on right now. Three babies are expensive, but having two of those three babies with developmental delays is even more expensive. I may not pay for daycare, but I pay for special equipment and medical bills and meds and gas... and soon daycare for Moose while the 2 little ones have therapy 4 times a week. I need college, because I need a job... and I need a job I can do from home.

Many people can bring thier children to daycare while they go to work. I cannot. Even the baby's Pediatrician says it is out of the question. As for Moose in daycare... gives me extreme anxiety. I hate it. I cant explain in words why I am this way, I just am. I have so little trust for strangers it is unreal.

Back to my vent about Final's. I am studying my rear off, but they are fast approaching. Enough said.

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

Blogger Buzz: Blogger integrates with Amazon Associates

Cupcake

That was the name on the bottle of Merlot I bought myself last night. I didnt know if it was going to taste heavenly or alot like horse piss, but I couldnt pass up a bottle of Merlot with a label that said Cupcake. That being said, it best to explain why the word Cupcake makes my potty tickle. I love cake. White cake, yellow cake, chocolate cake, carrot cake, spice cake, pumpkin cake, lemon cake. I LOVE cake and I LOVE CUPCAKES. There is something about a cupcake that makes me feel happy and warm and a lot like I dont have a care in the world. The entire process of eating a cupcake is divine, whether you like to lick the frosting of first, or dig in so thoroughly you end up with sticky sweetness up your nostrils. I love slowly pulling the accordian paper off and seeing if there is a fun Disney design printed on it. Also, I might as well state for the record that I can make a mean cupcake, but I much prefer eating one someone else has made... especially if that someone is a kid. Kids always remember the sprinkles, I am usually so busy that I forget.

I forget alot of things. These days, sometimes I forget to breathe. Sometimes I forget to laugh and sometimes I forget to cry. My life is so chaotic right now, that sometimes I forget to be a person. Everyday is full of exhaustin and chaos, but I can never stop. My brain is running full speed all day long. Bottles, diapers, breakfast, feedings, clothes baths, phone calls, appointments, lunch, therapies, mealtimes, baths, teeth brushing, sippy cups, movies, homework, testing, labs, tylenol, laundry, phone calls, activity, soccer, walking, dinner, dishes, bills, homework, vehicles, paper work, shopping, cleaning... plus anything else that comes up in between. Sometimes I forget to shower, to brush my teeth, to pee, to relax.

To eat a cupcake.

Spring Fever

So.... here I am stuck inside and it is a bee-you-tee-fullll day outside! Babies are sick sick sick... bit I know it is for the greater good. I am thinking I may sneak them outside a little later for a little fresh air. It will probably do them some good, and lord knows, we need some good in this house.

The Man and I have made a decision to keep the TV turned off during the day. Our family needs to do more activities that dont revolve around the living room. Now that its almost summer, we hope to GET OUT OF HERE!!!! Yay!!!!

Found out that we will more than likely need to bring Monkey and Foo to their therapies at the clinic... they will not come here unless they have an immune disorder, so we are on the daycare hunt. Nothing worse for me. Daycare makes me uncomfortable, but I figure that I should be able to find a halfway decent one here and its really only for an hour or two at a time.

Starting to miss Missouri, loving the big Minnesota, considering moving to Louisianna. We know that our family it going to need alot of things to thrive and we are unsure as to if we can make enough money up here. Time will tell.

Moose is good, but needing social interaction, Monkey is good but needing a chill pill and Foo is good but needing some energy. Life is pretty ok. For today.

Seamonkeys

Yes, you heard me correctly. Seamonkeys. We got them. We hatched them. We fed them. Now we are watching the itty bitty creepy things go. No litter boxes and no potty breaks outside so I guess I dont really have a whole hell of alot that I should be complaining about. Well I am going to complain. Where on earth does a person put a tiny mini tank of Seamonkeys? Right now I have it on the kitchen counter, but Moose has already gotten ahold of it and dumped a fourth of it out. Also, the joy of these cheapie little creatures is that you actually need more equipment for their upkeep. Equipment the manufacturer has conveniently left out of the kit. Of course the manufacturer has left planty of information about where you can order all the stuff you are going to need to help keep these brand new pets thriving.

Seamonkeys.

I have to say though, that I find myself stopping to squint into thier tank about 22 times a day. I am fascinated and I honestly find the challenge of just SEEING them enthralling. I can't wait for them to continue growing... and I am actually planning on ordering the rest of the things we will need for our new pets. I cant help it. I guess it may be the enormous geek coming out in me.

Seamonkeys.

I have been wanting to get these for a heck of a long time.

The Fear of the Unknown.

I hate not knowing what the future holds for my family. I struggle everyday with this, even though I know I am so completely ridiculous. I have so many fears and insecurities. The biggest one on my list is the open question as to if Monkey and Foo will ever be able to walk and will they ever be able to have even partial independence? The hardest part of having children with special needs is knowing that as a mortal being, I will not be able to take care of them forever. There will come a day when I will be gone and I need to know that they will be OK. These are the sorts of things that I think about. I wish I could be the woman whose biggest worries are who has to fill the gas tank on the car this time or winning the battle with the family on what we are watching on the boob tube. Sometimes I honestly get so angry when I hear about the petty things that people complain about, but then I have to remember that I would never wish my trials on another. I never would wish that another mother would have to watch as her precious babies are covered from thier ankles to thier scalp in track marks. I never would want someone else to have to hear that thier children may never walk... may never crawl... may never talk.

I also know that I am incredibly lucky. My life could be much harder, and I know there are many out there that deal with much worse. I am loved and my children are loved and my lover is loved. We all love each other and we will always be there for each other.

I still would like to peek into the future though. I just want to know. I worry about my Moose and how he will come through. Having two siblings is alot for any child, let alone two siblings with special needs. He has his own mountains to climb, and while he does it, he will be dragging a wagon with two babies inside. He is a great child, one of the best really. Sometimes I dont give him credit on his greatness. I have alot of dreams for this three year old, my biggest being that he dream big.

Man I wish I could see the future.

Each day I send my hopes and dreams out to the clouds and the tree's and even the snow in hopes that I will be heard. I can't see the future but I do keep reminding myself that I can mold my own future. I can continue in school, send The Man off to college, get the babies their therapy and practice with them at home and get as involved in the school system as I possibly can.

I must say that I do still fear the unknown.

When I Sleep, I Dream.

When I sleep

I dream of times of slumber

of careless banter

of carefree dancing.

I dream that butterflies are green

and pink birds sing.

I dream that forever really is forever

monsters are real

and so are we

I dream that butterfly kisses

can heal a wound

and the worst pain we will ever feel

is that of a baby's coo.

The sky is purple

and the air is warm

the breath of the angels

lulls my children to sleep.

I watch them

and know

that there is something great

that protects them

caresses them.

My children will do great things

and for this I perservere

and remain as childlike

as the angels will allow.

Five Children or Burr Family of Five?

So The Man and I were talking no too long ago about how I had always wanted five children. For some reason, in my head, five was always the perfect number. I am still not able to recollect why I chose the number five, but five was sublime. I look at my life now and I have no idea how on earth I could fit 2 more children in. I have three and there are nights when I am laying in bed wondering if I loved each one enough. Did I kiss and hug them enough? Did I spend enough "one on one" time with each one? Did I smile enough? Did we dance and sing enough? Did everyone get the amount of attention to satisfy? I think anytime a family has more than one child these questions arise, and as more and more children are added to the equation, the answers become much more dire.

So here I am, surrounded by babies and bottles and therapy and preschool activities and poopie cloth diapers and laundry and pull-ups and soiled clothing and meals and I know that the best five for me is The Burr Family of Five.

Germs are the Devil.

So it look's like the babies are getting sick. We have no time for this. Sound's dramatic I know, but we truly have no time. There is no room in our life right now for error or extra's and sickness definitely falls into both of those categories. I am not the kind of mom who can blow off sickess like it is nothing. I turn into a full-fledged psycho, a panicked maniac. I fight the urge to bring them into the ER at every sniffle. I never know if I am underreacting or overreacting. This winter all the kids ended up coming down with RSV and sadly I waited till the last second. By the time I brought them in, poor little Foo needed to be on nebulizer treatments, antibiotics and liquid steroids. This incident has confirmed my sickness anxiety.

Magic 8 Ball... give me a sign.

So The Man and I are in the midst of doing a frantic future plan out. We are both struggling with what on earth we are going to be doing in about 2 years from now. I am of course in the middle of going to college for Medical Transcription. Yahoo, right? No. Now they are saying that the brunt of the medical systems will be going either, A. Electronic or B. Outsourcing overseas. Oh well. At this point I am going to continue on this journey and hope for the best. In the past I have also been interested in Photography and producing organic prodects (food and beauty), so if I have to maybe I will end up going that route.

The Man is considering going into Massage Therapy. He has been throwing this idea around back and forth and he is actually going in to talk to someone at the school today. When I think of The Man going to school for Massage Therapy, I allow myself a little inward chuckle. Here is this ex-Army soldier/Diesel Mechanic/32 year old fan of all things hunting and he will possibly be going to school with kids with purple hair. I love it. It doesnt seem to bother him though. That's one of the ways I know I picked a winner. My ex-Army soldier/Diesel Mechanic/32 year old fan of all things hunting thinks outside of the box.

Then it is the very complex decision of deciding where to move. Ideally we would stay where we are, but with our family things seldom work out to our ideals. We at this point are throwing around different possiblities ranging from Washington all the way to South Carolina. It is hard because as much as we would like to stay by our extended families, our mini family comes first.

Picking out somewhere to live isnt the easiest for us. There are so many different things that need to be taken into consideration... many that most people dont think of.

Will they offer employment for Both The Man and myself? In my case will they be willing to let me work from home?

How is the school system? How is thier services for children with Developmental Delays?

How is the Medical System in the area? How far of a commute is it to the different specialists offices?

How is the real estate prices? With the amount of money we have to spend on medical related expenses, we have to be sure to no over-extend financially on our house payment.

How large is the community? We would prefer a smaller area with a short commute to a larger one.

These are just a few of the things we have to consider. It all has a tendency to be overwhelming and only time will tell us what out future holds. I must admit though, sometimes I would love to be able to fastforward for just a few short minutes, just to have a little peek. I know that there are many bad things that could come of this, but I would still enjoy it nonetheless!

Hysteria, Clawing and Blowing some Bubbles.

A three year old, a one year old and a seven month old. What the hell sort of day can a woman like I possibly have? Laughter rolls around in my head as I think of this question. My day is a crazy day... a day full of miscellaneous anxiety attacks and laughter breakouts! Sometimes I will look at the clock and 5 minutes has slowly crept by and sometimes it has been a good 2 hours. Most days are full of trying to bring Moose down from his hysteria. That poor child ended up inheriting his mothers flair for the dramatics. "Moose! Time out till you settle down!" (This is where a certain 3 year old will start crying, screeching and ultimately throw himself into the walls on the way to his room). Then there is the clawing which of course comes from the angelic faced Monkey. This little blonde ball of mean will claw anything he can get his little shark nails on... worst one being the back of the ear. What am I gonna do though? For real? He is so cute and kissable that all I can do is kiss him and try to do a scolding. Fail for mommy.

Bubbles. Neither of the boys ever blew bubbles. Neither of the boys ever spit or talked a blue streak at 7 months. Thats where the Princess Foo comes in. She giggles and makes incredible faces and blows bubbles and actually spits! She is our little mini firecracker, and I am sad to say, more than likely going to be the bully of the three.

Every night I go to bed excited for a little break, but sad that another day has passed. I love my children and hope one day they will all know how much I enjoy them, even when they are little monsters :)

Hypotonia... Mr. Goodbars... Diet Mountain Dew...

This is how much of August 2008 through March 2009 was spent. Obsessing about Hypotonia, eating dozens of Mr. Goodbars and guzzling Diet Mountain Dew. "What did it help?" you ask. "Did it solve anything?" you ask. Hell yes it did! I learned more about Hypotonia than most doctors, became even more addicted to caffiene and threw on about an extra 50 or so pounds. I tell ya what, those months were some pretty tough months. I would have never made it through without the word "Hypotonia", Mr. Goodbars and Diet Mountain Dew.

Out of the Army Now.

We are out! The Man is out! Our family is out! We are now in East Grand Forks and happier than ever! The Man made it home from his deployment on Christmas Eve 2009... and we have been enjoying our family ever since.

Alot has happened these last few months.

November 30th, 2009- Mom, Moose, Monkey, Foo and I all piled into the van and roadtripped back to Missouri. Mom helped us all get settled in until she skooted back to MN on December 15th.

December 24th, 2009- Our second Deployment came to a halt! One of the happiest moments in my entire life by far. I was able to watch The Man enter the gym... and therefore was able to chase him down easier when they were released from formation. The sight of him holding Moose and Monkey and meeting Foo was priceless.

December 28th, 2009- My fears about Foo were comfirmed. At this doctor appointment she was diagnosed with Hypotonia.

January 1st, 2010- First day of the rest of our lives.

January 23rd, 2010- After 4 long long years of stress... my fears for my child disolved. This is the day the adoption went through. The day The Man's and my dreams came true. The day we technically became "The Burr Family of Five".

February 8th, 2010- The Man began terminal leave and we left Missouri.

February 9th, 2010- We became Minnesotans again!

February 14th, 2010- My husband surprised me with a card and a dozen roses.... thus reminding me he knows the art of Romance.

March 7th, 2010- The Man is officially "Out of the Army"!

And then there is today... March 15th, 2010. There really is not anything that makes today significant besides the simple fact that I love my family just as much today as I did yesterday.