Question 3

Question 3: Why don't you get a job, so you and the kids can have some time away from each other.

Answer: This is a tough one to start, because I don't know where I should start. There are a lot of different factors involved here, so I shall just make a list and hope for the best.

-The children's pediatrician has not only suggested that they do not go into daycare, but has demanded it. Imagine what a day is like for a daycare provider. Imagine a dozen busy kids running around, needing diaper changes, yearning for attention, feedings, clean up... the whole nine yards. Now add a kid in there that will sit in a corner and not fuss for food, not cry when he is wet, not demand attention. What sort of priority would he be? Am I saying this would for sure happen? No, but the doc has evidently witnessed it, thus making it a concern. Also, imagine a daycare provider taking care of a bushel of kids and then on top of that, taking care of my three with the care I do. It wouldn't happen, and I would never ask someone to try. We would have to hire a private nanny and I would never make enough money to make the situation worth it.

-Just because I don't have a job, don't think I am not busy. Our current schedule between the three kids consists of eight hours of "in school" time for Gage, 30 minutes for Bo and Cote of school time with their Early Childhood Special Education teacher each, five sessions of Speech Therapy, six sessions of Occupational Therapy, four sessions of Physical Therapy, a visit with the Vision Consultant once a week, paperwork up the wazoo, more phone calls then you can fathom, emails as far as the eye can see ;) Plus add in the appointments. Just coming up we have a Pediadontist appointment in St. Cloud, Pediatric Ophthalmology in Maple Grove, Prosthetics and Orthotics in Grand Forks, possible Neurology in Rochester... among the others I haven't made appointments for yet. Now imagine if I worked on top of this schedule. Remember, I also have to actually take care of the kids... feed them, change them, play with them, cuddle them. I am hoping to start doula classes, so I have something just for me, but I even worry about that.


I don't feel bad about my not being able to work. If I did, that would mean I regret my children, and that is something I will never do. I have a spouse who has never once made me feel bad about not working. He does what he has to do to make sure there is money in the bank account. He works his tail off to pay for the hundreds of things the kids need. He doesn't complain about the things he wishes he had and he always puts the kids needs first. I in turn try my best to bargain shop, and a lot of the time, I go without. I would love to have super stylin' clothes or get my hair and nails done, but they are things that are a lot less important that things like new special glasses for the kids or special carseats or clothing that fits them. I consider myself lucky. I get to see it all, and I am able to be accessible to my children. There are women who stay home, there are women who work outside of the home and there are women that do both. In my opinion, none of these are the wrong way to be a mother. As moms we just do what we gotta do.